Choosing who to tell

Deciding to tell someone we’re not okay can feel challenging, scary, and overwhelming. It is also brave, and can feel like a huge relief and an act of self-care and kindness.

two people hold a cup of tea at a table. Only their hands and cup are visible

If you are considering telling someone you’ve had thoughts of suicide, please take a moment right now to acknowledge your courage. Reaching out to talk about suicide and let people know what’s going on is never an easy decision. It can feel difficult to find the right person to trust, someone who will have an understanding of our whole selves, and of the many different parts that make up that whole.

Deciding who to talk to can feel particularly important when we are LGBTIQA+, a First Nations person, live with disability or chronic illness, are a refugee or here on a student visa, or a person of faith, or any combination of these parts that make up the whole of who we are in the world. We may also have other things going on for us that make it feel hard to share and be concerned about how talking about our thoughts of suicide might impact on others. It’s ok to discuss this with our chosen person or people beforehand and there are some ideas for how to do this on following pages.

When you’re thinking about who to talk to, take a moment to consider these points:

  • Has this person shown me they’re respectful of my life and who I am?

  • Can I be open and trust this person to listen without judgement?

  • Can I trust this person to keep my story and respect my boundaries and help me take the next step in getting support when I am ready?

Remember that sometimes the people who care about us don’t always know how to have difficult conversations or have the right words to say in the moment. Don’t let this put you off finding the right support for you.

If you’re not sure who in your current life you would feel safe to talk to, or you’re not ready to be open about how you’re feeling, or share information about yourself, that’s ok. Please remember that Switchboard is here for you every day to listen, and work with you to find people who can support you with how you are feeling.

This hub is here to remind you that there is always someone you can talk to who will understand, and who will be able to help you take the next right step.