Keeping safe during
distress

Ideas for distraction, self-soothing, and keeping yourself safer in distressing moments. 

Thoughts of suicide

For people living with thoughts of suicide, these thoughts may happen infrequently, come up often, or be something they experience daily. If this is something you’re experiencing, it’s important to know that you are not alone, and many others have found ways to keep themselves safer when experiencing these thoughts. Some strategies for distracting or self-soothing that you might like to try include:

  • Make a list of the friends and family who you love and who affirm you  

  • Try to move through/release the thoughts by moving your body in whatever way works for you (e.g. running, stretching, deep breathing) 

  • Watch or listen to a relaxing video or audio recording (e.g. guided meditation or ASMR)

  • Read your personalised letter to yourself  

  • Use colouring-in books or sensory calming objects 

  • Distract by doing something with your hands/get them dirty – this could look like baking, gardening (or even just getting your hands into the earth), knitting, playing with clay, painting your nails etc.         

“I’m not having thoughts of suicide, but I’m worried about the next time I might.”

Young person holding a phone is sitting on the bed

When you’re feeling ok, it can be a good time to set up a support plan for next time you may be experiencing distress. You might want to:

  • Make sure your mental health care plan is up-to-date and you’re linked in with an appropriate service to give you some longer-term support. You can contact Rainbow Door to find an appropriate referral for LGBTIQA+ mental health support. 

  • Make sure you have completed your suicide safety plan card

  • Choose someone you trust to be your support person to help you access your preferred service if you’re in distress

  • Establish a routine/practice that helps to ease stress. This might look like a mental or physical activity each day e.g. meditation, yoga (or chair yoga), running, colouring/crafting. Find online videos for short mediations, and other practices that you can access easily when you need them. 

  • Where possible, try to limit your alcohol and/or drug use 

  • Find sensory toys/objects that help to calm you 

  • Consider writing a letter to your distressed self that can help you when you’re struggling. Here’s some ideas of what you could include in your letter: 

    • Experiences that have helped to affirm who you are 

    • Reasons why you’re proud of your identity 

    • People who make you feel accepted and loved 

    • Movies, songs, books or activities that uplift and affirm you 

    • Instructions for a task you want yourself to do in a distressing moment (this could be a person to call, a place to walk to, a movie to watch etc). 

    • Reasons why you want to stay alive  

Keep a digital copy of your letter to yourself on your phone, or somewhere that you could easily access it at any time in any place. 

“I’m having thoughts of suicide and need immediate help.”

If you feel like you’re in danger right now, you can act immediately to keep yourself safe: 

  • Call 000 or go to your nearest hospital emergency department 

  • Call your nearest hospital and ask to speak to the mental health team. 

  • Destroy or move out of sight any objects or items you could use to harm yourself.  

Each state has a mental health crisis phone service that can help you immediately to work out which service can best support you:  

VIC: 1300 60 60 24 Nurse on Call You can also find a service directory of mental health services here 
NSW:  1800 011 511  Mental Health Line 
QLD: 1300 MH CALL (1300 642255) 24-hour specialist mental healthcare 
WA:  1800 676 822  Mental Health Emergency Response Line 
ACT:  1800 629 354  Mental Health Triage Service 
NT:  1800 682 288  Northern Territory Mental Health Line 
SA:  13 14 65  Mental Health Triage Service 
TAS:  1800 332 388  Mental Health Service Helpline 

You can also call a helpline like:

Lifeline: 13 11 14 - every day, 24 hours
Suicide Call Back Service:  1300 659 467 - every day, 24 hours

If you’re not comfortable reaching out to and/or trusting a service, that’s ok. As we know, LGBTIQA+ communities have faced many challenges historically with pathologisation and criminalisation. We know that many of these challenges are still felt today and can lead us to feel mistrusting of and/or misunderstood by authorities. Here are some ideas and options for peer-based and non-service-related immediate support:  

  • Call someone you trust. If possible, ask them to come and be with you in this moment. 

  • Activate your suicide safety plan card 

  • Go to a safe place. This might be a friend's house, a library, a crisis centre, or your bed.

  • Do you have a plan? If so, hand any items that aid you in your plan over to your trusted person, so you don’t have immediate access and can keep yourself safe.  

Remember the two LGBTIQA+ helplines that are here to support you: